You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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