Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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