I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
