Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
