Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you mean i was at the winter classic?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
