he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
