I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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