dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My dick has a subreddit
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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