unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We need a shit load of segways right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
