And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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