Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
