Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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