just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
