Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
