i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
