I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
