in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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