is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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