I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
