My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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