should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
