It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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