just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
