youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
