I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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