So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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