OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
BRING THE BAGELS
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