the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
