Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
