$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
