Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
