i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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