I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize