just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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