As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
