C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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