She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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