I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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