Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
