found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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