why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
