hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
