There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
