I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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