Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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