Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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