If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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