Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We are two peas in an std pod
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
