Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
