Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I did not marry a roomba.
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