i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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