You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
