we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
