I'm so fucking centered right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
