I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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