How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
