Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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