she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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