Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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