I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
